Help Boo (our son) be in a good head-space at school.
Theory:
Boo has a challenge at school. He never wants to go and has a tough time making friends there. I thought if I could bring a gentle reminder of love to his day in the form of notes written on his lunch napkin, it would make the day more fun.
On The Ground:
I started drawing on our son, Boo's, napkins last week. He told me today it was embarrassing which he followed up with, "you draw really well Mom." I took this a license to continue with the quick hand drawings on each day's napkin.
This idea was inspired by two things. Recently there was an article on Yahoo showing fantastic drawings of parents created on the napkins for their children's lunchboxes. In typical fashion my first response was, "I can't do that," there are some confidence issues. ;-)
The second inspiration, and the one that caused me to push past fears was a recent article in the New York Times. The article was about how to get kids who are at risk of dropping out to stay in school. One study written about was texts that were regularly sent to students to remind them of goals. Who doesn't need daily reminders? How many of us pledge to be on a diet in the morning to have it forgotten by lunch?
My question was how could I get Boo to stay focused at school on all the things that are good and not get drawn down by the frustrations of the day?
Boo, like any kid, can be a challenge because he doesn't want to hear what comes from his parents. It seems like an intrusion, an invasion into self, and who likes that? So how can a parent gently help a child focus without telling them to do so? My thought was that just the mere note in the lunchbox wouldn't be intrusive yet serve as a reminder to the desires of his parents; be friendly, enjoy school, be happy, life's good. The notes don't relate to any particular goal, like last Friday was simply, "Yea Friday!" The idea is that the just the presence of the note and source will do that.
My husband, Mr. Boo teases me for these "extra-mile" things in the lunchbox. His lunchbox was made up of frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that were pre-made on Sunday, pulled out of the freezer each day, and hadn't thawed by lunch. I on the other hand because of; the gluten-free, dairy-free foodplan and having a picky kid, do things like; barbecued chicken, which was smoked the morning of school, and finished off in the oven. Mr. Boo says that I need to read the book "Bread and Jam for Frances" because the character of Albert has a lunch that Frances covets and causes her to eat something other then bread and jam. He says that my lunches are par with Alberts'.
Well, I just hope that the notes help make school a better, happier, place for Boo. Maybe they will remind him of all the great things in life and put him in a happy place while at school.
Today's inspiration for the drawing is from Lego's City, Arctic Supply Plane which Boo just got from money he saved. He is super excited about it, not only did he have to save his money but twice two different web sites had to cancel his order because they were out of the stock.
Boo put it together last night, coaching himself through the process of building it with no help. "You can do it, your good at this," he said outloud. For some reason Boo is scared of general things and feels like he needs help with most activities. The fact that he put it together himself was a real break through.
We encourage the self-talk to help him stay relaxed through the process. It is something that he started a year ago, maybe influenced by a social group. He will say things like, "it's all right, it's ok, you can do this." It helps him when we are late for school and he needs to relax enough to put on his shoes. We try not to rush him for this reason but nothing is ever perferct, he uses this tool when he feels the pressure of time.
Follow up: Boo said that he liked today's drawing and that he looks at the notes first thing when he opens his lunchbox. I asked if he shared them with anyone else and he said, "No, it would be embarassing." He was smiling when to told me about the note today so I took that as, "this makes me feel good." Mission accomplished.
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