Napkin Note-- Bad Kitty in India 3/31

The little thing on top of the elephant is Bad Kitty.  I think he is having a great time visiting India for the first time.  Look at the beautiful elephant he gets to ride.  ; )

Napkin Notes-- Bad Kitty 3/30

My husband is off to India for the week.  This Napkin Note is a mash-up of that and TsukiMoon's favorite character at the moment:  Nick Bruel's Bad Kitty.

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Drug Study-- First Week

On Friday our son, TsukiMoon, had his first full week of meds, check in.  He started ruminating on it on Wednesday.  He was worried about the blood draw.  Asking questions like, "how long will it take?  How much blood will they take?"

Check in with the liaison then off to the blood draw in another building.  Then back we go to the behavior sciences building for the EKG and blood pressure check.  Then its time to meet with the lead Doctor of the study.  He asked many questions, all with TsukiMoon in the room.  It made us uncomfortable.

He was particularly interested in our son's behavior (of course).  We don't like to tell people about TsukiMoon's bad behavior in front of him because it is important to always stay positive in front of him.  Normally we would say things like; he is improving, he is challenged by but working on ______, and the like.  To talk about tantrums in his pressence was tough.   Especially becasue we had many incidents of what we call "circular-thinking."  TsukiMoon has a tendancy to have ridged thinking.  He acts like a dog-with-a-bone.  He won't let go even when you ask him to give it a break because his parents can't take anymore.  I have begged him to let go of something because I can't take any more.

Over all the first week on the drug sucked, which makes us think we got a placebo.  In a moment of break-down I said to my husband that getting a kid with ASD is a raw deal.  Mr. TsukiMoon who is always positive, was also broken down.  To my surprise he said, "yes it is."  At which point we started making jokes, because gallows humor is sometimes the thing left to help out.

 "How did you become an alcoholic?" I said, as if asked by someone else.

"Well we have a kid with ASD,"  I answered my question.  Mr. TsukiMoon chuckled.

I followed it up with "how did you gain 50 pounds?"  Again as if asked by a someone else.

"Well, I became best friends with the folks at the cake bakery."  Which brought a guffaw from my husband.

That was on Friday.  This weekend Mr. TsukiMoon kept saying he was tired.  Now it might still be a residual from shingles he got 4 weeks ago, but I told him that it might be depression-- that a change in energy level is a symptom.  He is on a plane to India as a write this, earning the money needed to cover all of TsukiMoon's therapies.

If this medicine helps it would be nice to take some of the pressure off families.  Sometimes it can all get to be a little much.

At the end of the session with the lead doctor we were then asked to double the doseage in both the morning and evening.  Maybe this will have a better effect.  Maybe this week will be better then the last.

Drug Study-- Observations 3/30

My husband, Mr. TsukiMoon, and I walked TsukiMoon to school today.  Crossing the street in front of school, Boo said "hi" to the crossing-gaurd.  He followed that up telling the man that he had gotten a haircut.

Mr. TsukiMoon whispered to me, "has he ever said 'hi,' before?"

"No, I don't think so," I answered.  "And he told him about his haircut.  He's never done that."

"Maybe the higher doseage is working."  Mr. TsukiMoon said.

"Maybe," I confirmed.

Intially I was on the fence about whether I would wanted to medicate TsukiMoon.  If he has someone inside of him that is relaxed an happy and symptoms like; anxiety or getting stuck in circular thinking can be taken away, why would be put him through that state of being?

Before me moved to our present location, which has 270 days of sunshine, we live 3 of the top 5 greyist cities in the United States.  When we got here 10 years ago it felt like a fog had lifted.  Up until that point I had been fighting low to moderate depression my whole adult life (after leaveing college, a place with 284 days of sunshine).  I relized that lack of sun was detramental to me.  To that point I assumed that that's who I was, someone with depression.  Now I see it as part of me but not me.  That's how I now see TsukiMoon symptoms-- they are not him, just a part of him.  It would be nice if there was sunshine pouring down on him.

Napkin Notes-- Bravest Warriors 3/27

Today's inspiration came from the series our son, TsukiMoon, is most interested in at the moment.

Napkin Notes-- Garfield 3/26

For years now, Garfield has been a source for giggles and laughter.  Our son returns again and again to these books.  

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Napkin Notes-- Dad's Napkin 3/25

My husband made today's napkin.  We all thought it would be fun to try something new. 

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Sports-- Swimming

Objective:

Have TsukiMoon enjoy exercise and to make movement a habit.

Theory:

Do fun, active things as a family so exercise is enjoyable.  Role-model a healthy lifestyle.  We are more then growing a child, we are creating an adult, if exercise is fun now, it will be when he is older too.

On The Ground:

A friend with a Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) child who is older then our son, TsukiMoon, encouraged us to find a sport our kid.  Continually picked last for any team I have been hesitant to follow up on this.  I do think some kind of movement a should be a life-time habit.  Plus, I think she has a good point.  Sports has done a lot to help her son be more social and enjoy the comradery of a team.

We don't have the most coordinated kid. He has an in-toeing issue caused by naturally twisted femurs.  An orthopedic surgeon said they can be fixed with surgery but the operation requires the femur to be cut, rotated and reattached. I don't have an issue with it, TsukiMoon is understandably reluctant.  I defer to his wishes and he doesn't want the surgery. He may in the future, in the meantime running and kicking are an extra challenge on top of a general gross motor complication. 

Like so much with TsukiMoon, time does the trick.  I have taken him to the YMCA pool years now.  It started when he was two years old.  We spent hours each week in the pool.  There would be 3 and 4 year-old fishes happily swimming.  "If we just spend more time in the pool he will get there too," I thought.  It never happened.  I gave up the hope that he would swim at an early age and figured the best I could do is keep up the exposure to water so he was comfortable in it.  He does and now he he can swim.

For the first time this weekend, after many Y swim classes, he has been invited to go into the next level of class, up from beginner.  It took a long time but swimming is one of his joys. 

He even likes the aqua Zumba class that we take as a family. I get a case of the grins watching my husband doing his best to keep up with the choreography.  TsukiMoon likes having fun with his parents.  That is the best, happy exercise.

Last year when he took a soccer-skills class.  The children got very frustrated with TsukiMoon.  Early in the sessions they would yell at him when he had the ball.  Later in the sessions they would just ignore him or worst; talk about how bad he was with their friends, in front of him.  (This might have been harder on me then him.)  Nobody yells at the Y, everything is a good time.

"Family Swim" which is what the Y calls the time when children and their parents have "free time" in the pool, is that last thing of the day.  It takes the pool time right up until closing time.  It starts most week days at 7:30.  Which means that it is the last thing that we are usually super tired and don't want to go.  We go once or twice a week, to TsukiMoon delight.

Bedtime can be a rough time for the family as we work Boo through his night time routine.  Transitions are never fun for TsukiMoon.  The night time transitions might be the most difficult.  Why?  I don't know but sleep is hard for TsukiMoon to relax into sleep.  Luckily he has some habits that help him, like reading books.  Swimming is one more thing to help the transition.  Basically get some ya-ya's out and too have a strong evening routine.  Result? We don't have to push on him to have him get into bed.  He is much more relaxed and ready for slumber.

Maybe someday he will be on the school or town teams, but like everything with TsukiMoon that isn't a goal but a possible cherry on top of a big bowl of ice cream (non-dairy of course).

Napkin Notes-- Fangbone 3/24

Our son was giggling at the breakfast table this morning reading this book.  It has typical sophomoric humor perfect for 3rd graders.  Any joy our son feels, I enjoy extending it.  Hopefully this napkin gave him a smile. :-) 

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Fur Therapy-- Rabbit Friends

Objective:

Have TsukiMoon get and keep friends.

Help him to use a light touch with people.

Theory:

Animal care teaches our son, TsukiMoon  light touch, patience, and helps him have warm feelings for animals.  We hope those skills will translate to similar feelings for humans.

On the ground:

We already have a few animals before finding about TsukiMoon's ASD.  After we adjusted to the "new normal" we thought that more animals would be good for our son, TsukiMoon   We now have 6 critters; 2 cats, 2 rabbits, 1 guinea pig, 1 dog (which acts more like a cat, based on how much she sleeps).

TsukiMoon is gentle with the cats and finds the dog, the sleepy basset hound, boring.  The dog is so easy that she makes the cats look difficult, she is boring-- but cute.  I have always wanted angora rabbits since watching a fellow high school student; pluck, spin and knit or weave her angora rabbit's wool.  After searching around on the internet I found 20+ show angoras recently extracted from the home of a man with cancer who couldn't manager their care.  We got two.

As happy coincidence the day we got the rabbits was the day before Easter.  Since a bad Halloween experience 2013 we keep TsukiMoon away from candy, two rabbits seemed a good exchange for an egg hunt with fake-dye-dairy-filled candy

I have never had a rabbit.  Mr. TsukiMoon  whose parents were teachers that brought home the classroom pets rabbits, warned me that rabbits don't make good pets.  His died in graphic, unfortunate ways and weren't particularly warm and cuddly.  As it turned out we either; we lucked out or angoras are exceptionally nice-- they are great.

These rabbits came from a bad situation, one was skeletal, both were jittery.  It was a steep learning curve for TsukiMoon to learn how to handle them gently.  As it turns out, rabbits are perfect to teach lite touch.  The slightest irregular sensation causes a rabbit to spring away.  Too rough when you go to pick them up, their strong back legs kick out forcefully and a quick feedback return.    So far, a rabbit never bites.

Fortunately the basset hound, which are breed to hunt rabbits, is only mildly interested in rabbits.  She wagged, sniffed, and lost interest.  Many a time a rabbit has bounded by the drowsy dog without generating a response.  The cats are more afraid of the rabbits are of them.  No dead fur friends found in the house, thank goodness.

TsukiMoon loves the rabbits much more then the cats or dog.  He likes all the fluff and introduces his rabbits to everyone who comes over.  He feeds and waters them when they are in need.  He takes the French angora, his favorite of the two (the other is an English angora) up into his loft, where he reads to it. 

It is tough to know if the long term effects of the rabbits are better relationships.  What I do know is that having empathy and love for the rabbits is a good first start.

French Angora

English Angora

2 cute buns.

Drug Study-- First 3 Days

After the first dose I though we might be on to something, because that night our son, TsukiMoon  slept through the night.  Pushing our luck we enjoyed a dinner of cheese tortellini the next night-- big mistake.  Dairy and gluten are terrible for TsukiMoon's behavior. Friday was rough and the weekend was the same as ever.   Because of TsukiMoon blood pressure remaining the same after the 1st dose I believed he might have gotten the placebo.  It is possible that the  medicine takes awhile to take effect but there are no changes in behavior yet.  Maybe we will have a better indication after a full week 

One nice thing about this is that Boo is eager to be a "Citizen Scientist."  He gives himself the shot, a dose of vapor up each nostril, so we don't have to. He reminds us when it need to be given, twice a day. If this stuff does turn into an FDA approved drug, administering is easy.  

Napkin Notes--DH Lawrence 3/23

We revisited rockets as an interest this weekend when at the local airfield, every 3rd Saturday of the month is Rocket Day.  While there we learned about a competition for high school kids to shoot a rocket to 1000 feet then land an egg safely back on the ground. The rest of the weekend our son, TsukiMoon talked about possible designs to do the same thing. 

Rocket Day

A Note about the Quote:

This quote from DH Lawrence, helped me appreciate all that we have gained from ASD.  Parts of life are only revealed when everything seems black.

Napkin Notes-- BNSF freight 3/20

Continuing with trains:  this is TsukiMoon's favorite freight line. 

1st Dose

Today was the first day of a 4 week drug trial.  We will be told at the end of the four weeks if our son, TsukiMoon  got a placebo or medicine.  If we recieve just the saline we will have the option to take the real thing for an additional 4 weeks.  Either way we will know if this medicine has any effects on our son's ASD.

Our son was a trooper today.  He had is blood pressure (BP) 4 times, had an EKG, and was shot up the nose with a "magical-mystery (MM)" vapor 6 times-- 3 times per nostril, also another check of his IQ.  While he was busy doing all that, I have homework of my own, answering 3 surveys of TsukiMoon's behavior over the last week.

His BP didn't change from the first; sitting and standing time, to the second--after he received the MM vapor.  From a quick search of the internet the drug can effect BP, raising it.  This doesn't mean that what we received was a placebo, but it indicates that it might be.

I don't know what I think about the whole thing about the drugs, changing the attributes of ASD kids.  Since living with the "new normal" I have become more grateful for everything.  What is true, is that we are lucky to have this opportunity to be part of this study.  It will be short lived and might bring the hope to people who really need and want it.  

I wouldn't be doing all the things written about in this blog, if I didn't think that there wasn't a way out of this.  A solution for TsukiMoon's  a life where he can be happy.  My husband and I work on this daily.  ASD has made; me, our family, and even our TsukiMoon better people.  We all live with a level of empathy that I, simply have never felt before.  TsukiMoon mimics our caring behavior for people.  If he was a "normal" boy we wouldn't have worked so hard for this.  We all are better at being able to forgive everyone everything.  Life is better.

It will be great if this trial leads to a safe, new medicine for people who want it and need it.  If it doesn't, for us, we will get through.

Napkin Notes--Hogwarts Express 3/19

Continuing with the train theme:  TsukiMoon asked this morning what dementors are. I said, "read the book." 

He responds with, "I did.  It doesn't explain them."

"Read all the books, then you might get a better idea," I say. 

This conversation prompted me to draw the train from the Harry Potter movies. I have always thought it was a beautiful train.  It was fun to create this napkin today. 

Drug Study

Mr. Boo recently searched the Internet for help and support for Boo, came across a service of a local university to help families and children of ASD.  The outreach program helps steer families towards services and offer support. Mr. Boo contacted the school and we met with a liaison.  She was very helpful; had ideas for us to try, sent us the names of many services, and asked if we were interested in any of the studies the university was conducting.  We said sure. 

From that we are now involved in 3 studies:

One is a Google glass study which Boo has already participated in. It was one hour, earned him $25 dollars which he is planning to spend on Legos. 

Another study is a study that looks at how ASD kids process math. Boo will earn more money for Legos (which he is very excited about).

The last is a drug study which does not pay.  We will have to buy the legos. 

The study is double blind. Meaning the researchers and the participants don't know if which children get the medicine. It is researching the effects of a medicine on ASD participants to see if they talk more and have positive social changes.  Since the study is double blind we won't know if Boo recieved the "real thing" until we are done.

We started the process last week.  Boo was given a IQ test and we were ask a bunch questions, 3 1/2 hours worth, about Boo and how ASD has progressed during his life.  I was also ask to fill out 4 surveys for ASD children to measure the severity of the condition in the home.   We went back later for Boo to answer more questions relating to IQ.  He also got his blood drawn, an EKG, and a physical check-up, then his blood pressure reading while sitting and standing. 

All of this was intense for Boo.  The grad students, who all looked like kids to me (I'm in my 40's and these folks are clearly in their 20's) called Boo a "Citizen Scientist."  This made him feel really positive about his role.  He is even looking forward to the blood draw.  (That was last week, we'll see what happens when it needs to be drawn again.)

We also spoke to the lead researcher, a man in his 50's.  This was probably the best conversation we have ever had with someone about autism.  One of the grad students took Boo out of the room while the professor asked us questions.  Never have we spoken with someone who was so empathetic to our situation.  He confirmed our intuitions.  

We told him about the time we went to developmental pediatrician which was worse then useless.  He validated our feelings of this episode when he said, that the challenge with the ASD kids who are higher-functioning is that they slip through the cracks.  There is no one over seeing their care because more severe cases get needed attention, leaving the parents of more highly functioning kids responsible of all the care.

We also told him we switched schools from private to public.  A choice, that in my husband's words, "gave him a whole new set of gray hairs."  The Doctor said that autistic kids are usually better served in the public school.  We came out of that meeting breathing a big sigh of relief.  Thank you Dr._______. 

For our part in the drug trial, we have to administer a vapor up the nose everyday which will carry the meds or a placebo.  At the end of the study they will let us know which one Boo received.  

It is a 4 week study with a choice to continue for an additional 4 weeks if we choose.  

I will post regularly over then next 4-8 weeks about any changes we see in Boo's behavior. 

Napkin Notes-- diesel locomotive 3/18

Continuing with the theme of trains: this is TsukiMoon's favorite kind of engine. 

Games as Therapy-- Warhammer 40K

Objectives:

TsukiMoon to play with others and enjoy the process.

Theory:

Warhammer 40K follows an interest of our son, TsukiMoon's   We help facilitate the interest by bringing him to tournaments, conventions, blogging, all so that he as a way to interact with people.  To play the game trains his interpersonal abilities, self-regulation, and creates camaraderie with others.

On The Ground:

This is not an easy process for TsukiMoon to do or us to facilitate.  The joke we say to each other we are teaching TsukiMoon how to interact peacefully with others by playing war games.  The fact is that a trip to the game store for an afternoon of battles is tough.  In the beginning this process was way out of our comfort zone.  Once we got past that, we now help TsukiMoon through the ups and downs come with any game.  If TsukiMoon plays happily, along with everyone else that is a real accomplishment.

Games are "life-lite."  Games, any game, can be tough.  There is the frustration in losing, you should be supportive of your opponent even if you aren't doing well or at least civil, and when an opponent delivers the killing blow, to shake their hand and say, "good game," can be really hard.  The nice thing is games at their core are about having fun.  In the grand scheme the outcome of a game doesn't matter, how you get along with people does.  How TsukiMoon treats people in a game has direct correlation to how to treat people in life.  

That is not how it started though.  We were slow to come to this method of therapy as a solution.  In 1st grade the school (private) said that his handwriting was so bad that if he wanted to progress to 3rd grade we would have put him into occupational therapy (OT).  I was ticked.  3rd grade was a year and half away.  How could they say that?  So I had TsukiMoon tested 6-ways-to-Sunday.  When you look under the hood you find something.

We learned that TsukiMoon had autism spectrum disease (ASD).  They told us he was high-functioning.  Whatever he was, we didn't care.  We, his parents, quickly adapted to "new reality" and went into overdrive to do anything and everything to help him.  My concern was two fold; he needed to have a better understanding of language-- his score was 97% for decoding words (ie. large vocabulary) 4% for understanding content and that he needed to be able to communicate in a way that was more empathetic and less dismissive, mono-focused, harsh.

We worked hard over a year with the speech and language pathologist, which I will write about in another post.

Instinctually we felt games would be a good place to start in his therapy because he had such a hard time playing them in a way anyone, including us, would ever want to play with him but he clearly enjoyed them.  My husband, Mr. TsukiMoon  played many types of role-playing games when he was younger and thought that they would be good for TsukiMoon   

One weekend when I was camping with a friend and her children, I came back and found all these boxes.  "What's this?" I asked.  I was annoyed that one night away helping a friend gave Mr. Boo and excuse to buy lots of stuff.

"Well. . . It wasn't my intention to get this game.  I went to a game store that had "Champions (a role-playing game) and TsukiMoon got talking with the guy behind the counter."  (Notice the word: talking.)  "He got in such a long conversation with the guy that I felt like I had to honor it," he answered.

"How much did all this stuff cost?" I asked.

"Less then OT."

So there it was.  

When he was tested one of the people who tested him was an OT who, confirmed that he had dysgraphia, basically it was hard for him to use his hands.  Warhammer is first about using your hands.  The little, tiny, and teeny-tiny pieces first need to be glued together before they are even useful.  Boo threw himself into it.

After the creatures are created they are then painted, again with tiny brushes which have about 15-20 bristles.  He did, may be not perfectly but everything is a process.

TsukiMoon's inclination was to; build Warhammer models, paint them, but never use them in battle, because it was too much to meet with others.  To get around this we started by first taking him to gaming conventions this summer.  People would bring their armies and you can tell which people were interested in talking about them.  

For the past several weeks we have been going to a local game store on Sundays so Mr. TsukiMoon and TsukiMoon can play Warhammer 40K.  The first time that we went was torturous.  TsukiMoon simply didn't want to go.  Tears, screaming, refusal, lots of fear.  We cajoled, counted to 3 as in, "I will count to 3 and then we need to leave."  It took about 45 minutes but we managed to leave the house.  

We were at the game store for 4-5 hours.  Mr. TsukiMoon played two games with TsukiMoon engaged at times.  TsukiMoon had a great time.  In true ASD fashion, when we left, all TsukiMoon wanted to talk about was the two games that were played.  He was so excited that he proceeded to talk about it for the next 3 days.  Then came the next Sunday.

The next week when it was time to leave it was the same complaints all over again.  This time it was only 20 minutes of complaints and no tears before we drove away.  Progress.

Mostly it has gone pretty well.  TsukiMoon is talking to the people at the game store more.  It is never perfect but he seems to be progressing.  He talks to other people he might meet to educate them on what Warhammer 40K is.

What we have learned about TsukiMoon whether it is Warhammer, school work, or the requirements asked of him by his speech and language pathologist, if he doesn't feel prepared, watch out.  Mr. TsukiMoon and TsukiMoon were in an escalation or also called a progressive tournament.  That means each week the armies get larger in points; first 500 points, second week 1000, third week 1500, and so on.  Fine if you have armies that can fill that many points.  We didn't.  During the week we bought a new creature to fill in the number of points needed for the next skirmish.  The creatures are complicated.  They come in several pieces.  You must clip the parts out of a framework, glued together, primed, then painted.  The details are small on these models so speed up the paint process we have learned how to air brush.  Most often by Sunday the models are put together but the painting wasn't been finished.  Queue meltdown.

The freakout was as awful as it can get; lots of violent tears, yelling, even a kick and a hit aimed at Mr. TsukiMoon.  I empathized with TsukiMoon  confirmed that going with a half-painted army was not what he had in mind.  I told him that I was proud that he had image in his head of a goal he wanted to meet, that he had an over-all plan.  I followed this by saying that to meet our goals sometimes it takes longer then we want.  It is important to stick to that original idea and let it pull us forward but to understand that something we have to be patient with it.

TsukiMoon stopped crying for a moment,  state change a good first start, and looked at me taking in this new information.  He was angry though and wanted us, especially Mr. TsukiMoon  to pay the price of not completing his vision (which of course is not our responsibility).  He stomped around and cried: a little tyrant.  

To get TsukiMoon into the car I then said, "if you are not in the car in 5 seconds the dog has to come with us."  TsukiMoon dislikes it when the dog might get more attention then him.  Knowing that I follow through, he was in the car in 5 seconds.

The amount of work it took to get him in the car should have been a sign that we were in  for a "fun" time at game store. Days like these we realize how unique our situation is to parents with "normal" kids.  We have some repair work to do with the other gamers or folks won't want to play with us anymore.  Up until now everyone has been really friendly, but that might be starting to wear thin.

Loss is tough on TsukiMoon and the people who are his opponents.  He truly sees them as an adversary instead of just another person who wants to have fun.  He uses scathing language for their armies and attacks.  He is not fun to be around.  

On top of that he throws fits with Mr. TsukiMoon's maneuvers, that then need to be negotiated after first calming TsukiMoon down.  Good thing we are dedicated because it helps us through the mortification.  Good thing next week is the last week, everyone needs a break.

What we will do next week to help it be successful is to make small illustrated books showing TsukiMoon playing with the other people with speech and thought bubbles over the other players.  The thought bubbles will give TsukiMoon insight into what the other players are thinking when he acts that way.  Then create another book showing TsukiMoon doing everything right and what the players think then. 

Also we need to be more prepared.  The armies need to be in the car the night before.  No working the day of to rush the creation.  Rushing is tough on TsukiMoon  We must leave earlier in the day have a relaxing lunch somewhere around the game store so that everyone is properly fed, another issue today. 

Update:

I was going through old writings of things I hadn't posted. This wasn't article wasn't finished because it was just too painful to think about some of the days we endure.  It was written about 5-6 months ago. It is interesting to read now because TsukiMoon has come so far since then.  He is much better at sportsmanship. He is also more patient with his parents. He still gets frustrated and acts out against us but the frequency has lessened.   He is much easier on his parents. 

All the interventions must be working. 

Napkin Notes-- Steam Locomotive 3/17/2015

We seem to have moved on from rockets-- the new focus is trains. 

It is always amazing the depth our son, TsukiMoon  engrosses himself in a subject.  He uses astounding powers of observation informing me the difference between two pictures of trains, that look the same to my eye are that one has 3 horns instead of 4 like the other.

Revisiting why I started the Napkin Notes and keep it up:

I think it might be easy for TsukiMoon to lose the feeling of connection to people because he doesn't have his rocks with him, in the form of his parents.  It seems that he gets pushed off-track and engages in ways that aren't the best.  The daily Napkin Notes are to serve as a reminder that he has people that care for him and who he cares for.  In a small way I hope they help focus his intentions in the middle of the day.

Napkin Notes--Niagrara Falls 3/16/2015

Our son said, "I can't be as powerful as Niagara Falls."

I didn't say anything and just let the love stand.

Games as Therapy-- Rory's Story Cubes

Games as Therapy-- Rory's Story Cubes

Objective:

Get our son, TsukiMoon  to increase the number of spoken words he uses.  Also to be able to activate the creative part of himself-- logic we got.

Theory:

Story telling will loosen Boo's rigidity.  Make-believe stories that are built through turn taking, cause TsukiMoon to stretch his ability to think outside-the-box.  He will also create sentences and story building strength in that area.  

He can easily tell you about the recent facts he's learned.  The goal is to help him grow the areas that; use words freely and fluently and stretch is ability to be flexible and creative.  The fiction stories we create as a family might create comprehension of complexity and abstraction of a story, which can then be translated to cognition of others.  A tall order for little cubes.

On The Ground:

I heard long ago that creating stories helped young children learn language.  Starting around 2 or 3 I would make up stories and encouraged TsukiMoon to add to the adventure.  For awhile he like Bear Grylls, all the yarns where based on the character of "Adventure Man."  TsukiMoon never took over the storytelling, always wanting me to do it.  If the epic took at turn he didn't like he would steer me in the direction that he wanted to go, he would never add to the story on his own.

To help teach music theory I would tell Adventure Man stories to the backdrop of classical music.  It became difficult to dream up a new cliffhanger so I would set at feature to the highs and lows set by the music.  It was great way to illustrate the emotion of music to a young child, teach anticipation, and crescendo in music. TsukiMoon would never add or create his own stories, eventually it became exhausting.  He loved it but the well had run dry.

Enter Rory's Story Cubes.

The dice can be used in several ways.  We divide up the dice, on each turn a person throws one dice and adds to the story using the picture on the face of the die as inspiration.  TsukiMoon is older now and can add to a stories.  He is reluctant to start a story and he can be inflexible to the altering interpretations of the pictogram on the faces of the dice.  It is a process

Another way we play is just throw all the dice out on the table at dinner and then pick out one die at a time to wax the story.  There are many benefits to a small family but sometimes the three of us run out of things to talk about around storytelling is a great savior.  It makes it fun to be around the table, telling jokes, and coming up with the next goofy thing the main character does. They are also great when ever waiting for something is involved; food at restaurants, planes, appointments, whatever.

Now will these experiences help TsukiMoon be more open to people?  I don't know.  It can't hurt him and in the meantime we are having fun as a family, and that is worth a lot.

Napkin Notes--Captain Underpants 3/9/2015

Just for fun.

(Here is link to the first Napkin Note posting with intent.)

Napkin Notes-- Planetarium 3/10

TsukiMoon took a field trip with his class to a local planetarium.  I made this to honor the day.

Movie Therapy-- "Holes"

Objective: 

Teach our son, TsukiMoon, about feelings and motivations of others.

Theory:  

To watch movies that have a complex character development will build TsukiMoon's understanding of people and their emotions.   "Holes" also teaches how to help others become better.

On The Ground:

Our latest in Movie Therapy was to watch "Holes."

I first read "Holes" back in 2000 when it was first published.  I thought it was such a great, tight story that I immediately shared it with my husband and parents, also buying several copies to give to friends.  

My mother, who is super critical of; bad plot devices, characters breaking character, and predictable story lines, loved it.  My husband thought it was such a compact story that it rivaled "Pulp Fiction" in tying up every lose end, maybe even better he said.  It was a perfect a choice to teach our son, TsukiMoon  how when you treat others with caring can heal everyone and everything.

The story is complex. Every story element has a purpose, carefully intertwined with another.  The first time we watched it, it was a difficult for TsukiMoon to follow all the moving parts.  He watched it again the following night and was better able to apprehend the finer points.

He asked lots a lot of questions about the relationship between Stanley and Zero.  He couldn't understand why Stanley would help Zero, why Zero couldn't read, and why Zero was so sick after his days spent under the boat, Mary Lou.  The whole thing stretched his understanding.

When TsukiMoon ask questions about people's motivations, it is a good thing.  He asked a lot about "Holes."  He wants to understand people.  As long as the flick is interesting is enough it is pretty easy to teach him the mechanics of people's feeling because he wants to know.

"I did not know how to reach him, how to catch up with him...  The land of tears is so mysterious." --Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, "The Little Prince"

Don't worry darling, we will help you.

Movie Therapy-- "The Imitation Game"

Objective: 

Teach our son, TsukiMoon, about feelings and motivations of others.

Theory:  

Watching movies that have complex character development will build TsukiMoon's understanding of people.  Also watching closeups of faces that are 12-15 feet tall helps TsukiMoon see and internalize emotions of others.

On the ground:

Finding the right movies that are character driven, are fast pace, but aren't heavy on violence or sex is a trick.  TsukiMoon is 9 years old, most of the movies in this specific area are not appropriate, not fast enough paced, or not an interesting subject to him. 

Our first choice to try out this theory was "The Imitation Game" this holiday.  It was a perfect movie for TsukiMoon   It was about WW2, TsukiMoon's favorite subject.  It was fast paced but character driven, full of emotional turmoil and nuance.  Plus telling an early story of the person who created the Turning Machine didn't hurt either.

"The Imitation Game" is true story is about British Intelligence breaking the Nazi enigma machine which would decode all of the Nazi troop movements.  The theory of Alan Turning was that it took a machine to unlock the secrets of another machine.  Going against all his colleagues and his seniors, frustrating them greatly, he pursued something that he believed in.  It turned out that his answer was correct.  

The way that the actor, Benedict Cumberbatch, played Alan Turning as a person on the spectrum.  Wether this was true I don't know but it was good for TsukiMoon to watch a person communicate badly with others and watch the reactions of others to his seemly illogical reactions (relative to "normal" people).

TsukiMoon enjoyed the movie.  We talked as a family how Turning could have communicated better, what clues he missed in the people he worked with.  It is important for TsukiMoon to learn problem solving by seeing solutions that work and those that don't.  A good first start.

Movie Therapy-- "October Sky"

Objective: 

Teach our son, TsukiMoon, about feelings and motivations of others.

Theory:  

Watching movies that have complex character development will build TsukiMoon's understanding of people and their emotions.

On the ground:

Unlike television, movies usually have a solution, which is an important part of the process to help Boo learn.  TsukiMoon needs to see that there are solutions to the challenges that people face.  

The choice to watch "October Sky" came out of TsukiMoon's interest in rockets.  As mentioned in other parts of this blog, TsukiMoon's dad took him to a rocket day at a local airfield.  We had done this earlier in TsukiMoon's life, when he was about 5 but not since.  On happenstance when I was off at a knitting convention, Mr. TsukiMoon was reminded of Rocket Day at a near by airfield.  They went to the house and got the rocket that was used when TsukiMoon was 5 and brought it to the launch pads set up on the tarmac.  

This one small activity to fill time that day, turned into the latest obsession.  We have watched "The Right Stuff" and "From the Earth to the Moon," to give a history lesson to the use of rockets.  Then we remembered "October Sky."  

It is tough to find a movie that doesn't have a whole lot of unsuitable language for a 9 year old.  We don't mind swearing and regularly talk to TsukiMoon about the use of swear words, stating it is inappropriate to use them at his age.  As a rule follower, we had easy buy in (for now).  The challenge with any media is does the content more then what the child knows or, really, what I am willing to explain."October Sky" was a good choice.

TsukiMoon was enraptured with the story.  It was helpful to watch a set of boys work through the challenges of rocketry.  They had to work with people in the West Virginia mining town to get the parts they needed (read this as: teaching how to "communicate with others"), changed the design, then test, test, test their modified concept.  

Does this help TsukiMoon immediately?  Maybe, probably not.  At the least it feeds his interest at the time.  At the most it gives him one more piece of understanding of how people overcome challenges.  It teaches that the tests we face as humans don't have to stop us, we persevere.   

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common then unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.  The slogan, "Press On!" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."  --Calvin Coolidge

Napkin Notes-- Kepler 3/2

Our son, TsukiMoon's interest continues in rockets.  Searching YouTube he found a app/game which allows you to design your own rockets, called Kerbal Space Progarm (KSP).   https://kerbalspaceprogram.com

It's pretty complicated  program which in a weekend taught TsukiMoon about different ways rockets can be constructed with multi-stage assents which can be configured in a multiple ways.  One multi-stage structure was new to my husband and me, asparagus staging.

Also it taught TsukiMoon about types of orbits; geosynchronous, retrograde and prograde and possible ways to get a rocket into them.  This weekend we watched the Tom Hanks mini-series production, "From The Earth to The Moon."  Mr. TsukiMoon  my husband, TsukiMoon's dad, educated TsukiMoon about how transfer orbits worked when moving from an course around the Earth to an ellipse around the Moon. 

I thought it would be fun to teach TsukiMoon who came up with the model for transfer orbit.  

Napkin Notes-- Lunch Lady 3/3

There has been some discussion between our son, TsukiMoon and us, his parents.  It's an age old discussion between parents and children about "Eat your vegetables!"  In our case TsukiMoon doesn't eat anything that grows from the ground unless you can say Heinz ketchup springs from the earth at company's HQ in Pittsburgh.

Always looking a way to get TsukiMoon to eat more fruit and veggies, here is yet another.  He likes the graphic novel series called "Lunch Lady," by Jarrett J. Krosoczka.

Napkin Notes-- "No Bella" 2/26

Here is our son, TsukiMoon's responce to Bella's Napkin Note yesterday.  There's gratitude for you. ;-)

Napkin Notes-- X-1 2/24

Our son's attention has switched to rockets after a recent opportunity to launch rockets at the local airfield.  Like with most of his interests he has an intense focus and eagerly takes in as much information about the topic as he can.  For this reason we let him watch "The Right Stuff."  

"The Right Stuff," wouldn't be the right choice for all families because of the bad language, but our son, TsukiMoon  will say, "They shouldn't use that language."  It opens up a conversation about appropriate ways to express frustration.  We use movies to teach; values, problem solving, and to expose Boo to new ideas and ways of living.  

"The Right Stuff," taught how some people have "ice-water" in their vains, like the Chuck Yeager character.  It also showed the importance of being gracious and how to be a team-builder.  It also told the story about of John Glenn's support of his wife, Annie Glenn who had a stutter.  

We take time out of the movie to discuss the parts of the movie to teach values we support.  We will also stop the movie to explain the emotions of the actors and how TsukiMoon can recognise the emotions by looking at the faces of the actors.

TsukiMoon really took to the story of Chuck Yeager, played by Sam Shepard and now considers him the best of America's test pilots.  The Chuck Yeager story, as illustraited in the movie, hints that Chuck Yeager might have liked to be an astronaut even though he castigated the Mercury 7 as "monkeys."  In the story it suggests that Chuck Yeager wasn't given a chance at the astronaut program because he hadn't gone to college.  We discussed about how there are people who are excellent at what they do, who haven't gone to college, which might preclude them from all the opportunities they might like.

This explains today's Bell X-1, which was flown by Chuck Yeager and was the first manned airplane to exceed the speed of sound.  The X-1 was an experimental rocket plane-- hence the "Rocket Man!"

Napkin Notes--Bella's Great Day 2/25

We have a sweet dog which we got from the pound.  She let me know that she too would like to send a Napkin Note to our son, TsukiMoon.  Here is what she wanted to say.